His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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