"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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