You just made me feel so damn special
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
