what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
