Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
