maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
