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have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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