Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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