Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
