There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Pooping to opera.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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