ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize