Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
