She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
