i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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