The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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