chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm always down for nudity.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
