THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
