don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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