I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
