When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
