he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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