Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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