Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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