I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
