I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
