Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize