just come out here and I will go home with you...
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
