just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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