so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
