I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
