I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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