i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
