i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
