You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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