youre lurking in front of me
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize