She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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