Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
