I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize