tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You're earring is so big in my mouth
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
this hospital has no fireball
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
