Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
