Betty ford says i'm here all night
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
