If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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