i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
