Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Welp...herpes.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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