She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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