I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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