You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
