I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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