it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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