She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
