I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My life is pants optional.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
