i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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