So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
