Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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