Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
