dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
