I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
