Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
