Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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