and next time when you feel me up, do it right
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
