So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize